Vacation Planning in the Year Zero

 

You think tourism is a modern idea?  Think again!

 

It’s summer vacation time again!  My wife Marcia and I were looking at Mediterranean cruises, and that made me think of those inveterate tourists, the ancient Romans.  (OK, so my mind travels in odd directions.)

 Years ago I read Tony Perottet’s marvelous book, Route 66 A.D., and I have him to thank for most of what I know about this topic.

 (Perottet has since changed the title to Pagan Holiday – evidently too many people thought it was about the historic U.S. highway!)

 The more I study the ancient world, the more I learn about just how smart and creative those people really were.  It's amazing how many of our “modern” ideas  were actually around thousands of years ago.  

 Take the idea of tourism, for instance.  Thousands of years ago, long before flashy Aloha shirts and ugly knee-sox were invented, there was a flourishing tourist industry around the Roman Empire.  Plenty of Romans had the itch to travel, and, as citizens of the richest, most powerful nation in the world, quite a few of them were wealthy enough to scratch that itch.

 And Roman and other entrepreneurs were ready to fill their needs.

 

For instance:

 Today, when we begin planning our vacations, we often get out our Lonely Planet Guides and our AAA Tour Guides to determine what sights to see, and to find what hotels are recommended.  Hotels are rated by AAA, for instance, at 1 to 4 diamonds, depending on their quality.  

 Ancient Romans had their choice of several guides, written by scholars instead of travel writers, and exhaustively detailed.  One fellow, Pausanius, devoted almost thirty years to his guidebook of Greece, and it’s so detailed that archeologists still consult it today.  Pausanius may be the most widely-read travel guide in human history.  

 

 

The Peutinger Table, shown above, named after its modern discoverer Konrad Peutinger, is a travelers’ map of the entire Roman Empire.  It shows the location of all inns and hostelries, and, like AAA, rates them for quality – a little picture of one tower means acceptable lodging, two towers is middle of the road, and a four-sided building is a first-rate inn, where you won't have to share your bed with strangers, and there's a good chance the food will be reasonably fresh and the wine drinkable.   (This is the only surviving travel map- there were probably many, many competitors a couple of millennia ago.)

 Now today, when we arrive at our destination, we often rent a car to travel around in, to see the local sights.  The Romans did, too.  And just like today, you could rent an economy car- a 2-wheeled buggy, or the Lincoln Town Car of its day- a cozy covered wagon pulled by a team of mules.

 Roman tourists tended to pick the high-end option, because they tended to be rich, and carried a lot of luggage.  They also had a couple of slaves, and 2 or 3 bodyguards to guard all the cash they had to carry around.  Roman bankers hadn’t invented a “Roman Express Card” – but you can bet they had already thought of it.  It’s just that plastic hadn’t been invented yet.  (“Don’t Leave Rome Without It!”)

 One reason we travel today is to visit ancient historical sites, and with the Romans it was no different.  Now, you might be thinking “But the Romans are PART of the ancient world- what would they visit?”

 Well, consider this little factoid:  When Julius Caesar sailed to Egypt in 47 BC, the Pyramids were MORE ANCIENT TO HIM THAN HE IS TO US!  And the Egyptian tourism industry was ready and waiting for Julius and his cronies when they landed.

 Some of you may remember the days before selfies--wherever you would go, from Las Vegas to London, there would always be some photographer ready to snap your picture and sell it to you.

 The Egyptians may have been the first to come up with this idea.  They had no cameras, of course, but they did have Speed Painters.  These guys hung around the Pyramids with several already-finished paintings of the monuments.  For a few drachma, they would paint your smiling face in the foreground, and you would have a personalized souvenir to take home and hang on the wall of your villa.  When people came to visit, they would say “Oh, I see you’ve been to Egypt.  My wife and I are thinking of going next year.  How did you like it?”  And thus might begin a conversation that has been repeated countless times over the millennia.  

 So next time you have a souvenir photo taken at the Luxor, remember that this was already being done in front of the REAL Pyramids.

 AT LEAST 2000 years ago.

 

Today's “Rich” Athletes: Paupers by Roman Standards

 

Today's “Rich” Athletes:  Paupers by Roman Standards

 

With the World Cup going on, and with all of the recent attempts by politicians and most of the news media to work the populace into a frenzy of envy with their blather about “taxing the wealthy,” I was reminded of another successful group that is often the target of organized envy-- professional athletes.

 

Most people think that those huge athletes’ salaries are a modern development, probably beginning with Babe Ruth.

 

At his peak in 1930, the Babe was pulling down $80,000 a year, when the median income in the USA was under $2,000, and a brand-new Cadillac cost less than $3000.  He made big money because he drew big paying crowds.

 

But he wasn't the first wealthy sports figure-- not by a VERY long shot.

 

More than 2000 years before F1 or NASCAR, the Romans had made chariot racing into a big-time sport, with thousands of spectators cheering on their favorites in huge “speedways” such as the Circus Maximus.

 

And, as with any big-time sport, the athletes made big bucks.  And they had an extra handicap-- most of them started out as slaves!  But in ancient Rome, slaves could often keep any outside money they earned.  Racers could keep their prize money, and eventually buy their freedom.

 

The best of all these was Gaius Appuleius Diocles (“Guy” to his pals, I don't doubt.)  

 

He started out at the age of 18, as a slave racing driver, and eventually bought his freedom.  He continued to race until he retired at 42.    During his career, according to Mark Golden's Sport in the Ancient World from A to Z, he won 1,462 of his 4,257 races, and placed second 861 times.  They didn't have anything like a “NASCAR Hall of Fame” back then, but his fans did erect a monument to him.  (The Romans were very big on monuments.)  This was in 146 AD.   The plaque from that monument is still around today.  Ya think the “NASCAR Hall of Fame” will still be around 2000 years from now?

 

So how rich was old “Guy?”  Well, according to Golden's book, Diocles made more than 35 million sesterces in total prize money – worth about FIFTEEN BILLION DOLLARS in today's purchasing power!!!  And that was without doing a single commercial for athletic sandals or Acme Chariot Wheels.

 

This makes old Guy the richest athlete in the history of the world.  Not bad for a boy from the slave pens!

Dread Pirate Roberts

 

The REAL “Dread Pirate Roberts”

Forget Blackbeard!  He was a dilettante next to Roberts!

 

“The Princess Bride” is one of my all-time favorite movies.  It’s one of the few movies that’s as good as the book it‘s based on.  My hat’s off to director Rob Reiner, who also brought us another comedy classic, “This is Spinal Tap.”

One of “Bride’s” central characters is “The Dread Pirate Roberts.”  Although the movie is a fantasy, I was surprised to learn, a couple of years ago, that there really was a “Dread Pirate Roberts,” and he was probably the most “successful” pirate of all time!

John Roberts started out as an honest sailor, eventually working his way up to third mate of a merchant ship.  In 1719 his ship, Princess of London, was captured by two pirate ships off the coast of Africa. The pirates had suffered some losses in the fight, especially their navigator, so they “recruited” crewmen from the Princess.  Roberts very reluctantly became the new navigator.

Gradually, he became less and less reluctant, as he found that he really liked the life of a pirate.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably forgotten the day in 10^th grade World History class when the teacher talked about The War of Spanish Succession.  At the time, though, it was a Very Big Deal.  Most of the major nations in the world were involved, and it was also a Very Expensive Deal.  Then, as now, it cost a fortune to build a warship and train a crew, so a few monarchs found a cost-free way to expand their fleets--the Letter of Marque.  This was literally a License to Steal.  With a Letter of Marque, a private ship-owner was authorized by his king to arm his vessel, and rob & pillage any enemy vessel he came upon--all he had to do was cut the king in on a piece of the action.  These licensed pirates were called “privateers.”

The war came to an end in 1714, and suddenly thousands of privateers found there was no market for their skills.  So, with nothing else going for them, they decided to go freelance.  Thus began the period that many historians (hopefully with a touch of irony) call “The Golden Age of Piracy.”

Another irony: your typical pirate ship was one of the most democratic institutions in the world at that time!    Even the captain was elected by the crew, and served only as long as he found rich prizes for them.  Except for living off the spoils of armed robbery, each pirate ship was like a miniature sovereign nation.  (Although, come to think of it, quite a few officially-recognized nations depend on armed robbery, too.)

As navigator, Roberts was a respected member of the crew, and he found that the freedom and the adventure suited him just fine.  

Just six weeks after he was “recruited,” the captain of his ship was killed, and the crew elected Roberts as new captain of the “Royal Rover.”

Eventually, Roberts changed his first name to Bartholomew (evidently he thought “John” wasn’t a cool enough name for a pirate), and began terrorizing the Caribbean, sometimes capturing as many as 22 ships at a time, catching them with their anchors down in various harbors around the islands.  

Contrary to what you may have seen in the movies, there were few pitched battles between pirate and merchant ships.  The common practice among pirates was to spare the lives of those who surrendered, and deal ruthlessly with those who resisted.  Quite a few captains decided to surrender, and let the insurance companies like Lloyds of London deal with the cargo losses.

Over time, Roberts’s single vessel was expanded to a small squadron of three, and was thought by many to be invincible.

Blackbeard, arguably the most famous of all the pirates, captured about two dozen ships in his career.  Roberts captured almost FIVE HUNDRED!  

In “the Princess Bride,” Roberts secretly retired.  In the real world, his ships were captured by the British Royal Navy ship “HMS Swallow,” a formidable warship of 50 guns. However, Roberts was supposedly killed in the battle, and his crew claimed to have buried him at sea.  His body was never recovered.  Maybe he did secretly retire, after all!

 The crews were captured, and only about a quarter of the white members were hanged.  The black members were all sold into slavery (another example of how the official governments of the world were less democratic than pirate ships.)

 The Dread Pirate Roberts lives on, in the type of immortality only available in the 21^st century – he has his own page on Wikipedia:

 wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartholomew_Roberts